April 18, 2014

The latest threat against President Obama

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Sometimes fictitious news seems real and real news seems fictitious. The latter is the case with the story of Robert L. Berkley, a man who’s in a bit of hot water after making death threats aimed at President Barack Obama.

We’ve seen this before; it seems like every few months some redneck with a gun is picked up outside the Capitol. Inside said redneck’s rusted Dodge pickup truck is usually some makeshift map detailing a stupid yet elaborate plan for infiltrating the White House and assassinating Obama.

Berkley, however, is a bit different. He didn’t necessarily threaten to assassinate the president. Instead, he threatened to eat him. Michelle Obama was also on his dinner menu. The status of Sasha and Malia is unclear. Perhaps, in his twisted world, they would be dessert.

In court, Berkley was asked to clarify his intent. Again, he confirmed the plan: “I’m gonna eat ‘em.”

This all began way back in June 2010, when Berkley, who was scheduled to be released from prison soon, mailed a letter to a friend detailing his plan to travel to Washington and have the president for dinner.

He was indicted a month later and plead guilty in February. The most surprising thing? Wacky stories like this have become so common the national media doesn’t even bother with them anymore. It’s as if it’s an understood fact that there’s a lot of crazy hillbillies with big dreams about murdering (and in this case, eating) the POTUS.

In the words of Kurt Vonnegut: So it goes.

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